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Bachelor Recap: Weddings, Breakups & Roses - Oh My!

There are not many TV shows that are in their 21st season. Even Law and Order: SVU is only on #18. It takes a special mix of love, drama and great marketing to make it as far as the 'The Bachelor' franchise has made it, and we hate that we love it so much.

We don't know about you, but our favorite part of watching this hot mess of a show is talking crap about what's going on - while watching.

  • "Why in the world is she wearing that?" (We're looking at you, shark/dolphin girl)
  • "Is he CRAZY for believing that line?" (Liz telling Nick that she didn't reach out to him in the last 9 month since they hooked up at the wedding because 'if they were meant to be, their paths would cross." On his national reality TV show - right. Totally natural).
  • "What did she just say to him?" (Gal on a camel saying she had heard Nick liked a good 'hump'. Subtle.)

Let's be totally honest though - if we were on the show we would definitely be participating in all the same drama, making all the same mistakes, and saying all the same ridiculous things. When you have cameras on you all the time, there is no escaping.

Us too Yessica, us too. But this is The Bachelor folks! Drama is a given, and we love every desperate, juicy moment of it. Glass houses, yadda yadda yadda, hand us those stones! We'll be blogging our thoughts on the most recent episode each week - follow along with us on social media and shoot us your thoughts as to the frontrunners. Let's all hold hands and pray for Nick's Delicate Heart together.

Here are the most notable moments from Episode 2:

Group Date #1. The first group date of the season is a wedding-themed photo shoot. Each gal is given a different theme (princess bride, beach bride, 80s bride) and takes photos with Nick. The couple with the most 'chemistry' (as decided by the photographer) gets the rose. 24-year-old business owner Corinne fully cements herself during this group date as the season's Villian-in-Training, sitting in the corner while the other girls have their shoots just scowling the entire time, and then immediately taking her top off and asking Nick to recreate the Janet Jackson picture with her...which he happily agreed to. (He is, after all, a man).

Later that night at the "dinner" (that is in quotes because we have yet to see anyone actually eat real food), Corinne interrupts one after another to get more time with Nick, who seems blissfully ignorant at the pressure cooker that the date is turning into. Poor Taylor (23-year-old mental health specialist) is trying her hardest to compete ("He likes me for my brain!") but she is no match for Corinne's blatant sexuality (Nick literally tells her he likes her because she is sexy). In a move that surprised no one, but simultaneously let down all of Bachelor Nation, Nick gives the Group Date Rose to Corinne. 25-year-old marketing manager Lacey says what we're all thinking: "What if I had taken my shirt off, would I have gotten the rose?" Great message to women everywhere, Nick.

One on One. Danielle, a 31-year-old neonatal nurse, gets the first One on One date of the season, and no one deserves it more than she does. She and Nick are both from Wisconsin, and Nick tells her he feels more relaxed with her than he has so far on the season (it is only episode two, but still - the sentiment is there). They go from a helicopter to a boat, and to be honest...it's a little dull. The most excited we see Nick on this date is when he's watching the helicopter pilot maneuver to land on the boat. BUT. We do get to see the sensitive side of him (i.e. the one that won him the Bachelor-ship), when Danielle reveals that she has been engaged before, but that her fiance at the time passed away from a drug overdose - and she was the one to find him. Nick gives her a truly heartful message that she should cherish her time with him, and look back on their memories as fondly as she can. It's really a sweet moment, and Danielle looks relieved that Nick hasn't run away. After a story like that - it's no real shock that Danielle gets the rose. The true test is passed when last season's Good Girl Next Door officially passes the torch to Danielle:

Group Date #2. What's the exact opposite of a wedding photo shoot? A trip to the Museum of Broken Hearts, which is where Nick takes the second batch of women for the next group date. In a really sad bit, Nick lets the women know that he donated something to the museum - and sure enough, there's a dead rose and the ring he picked out for Kaitlyn (the second Bachelorette who broke his heart on live TV). It was a not-so-subtle reminder that Nick has had a saaaaaaad run at finding love on TV, and it's really time for the poor guy to find his Mrs. Right. 29-year-old doula Liz is on this date, whom you'll remember from the premiere as the gal with whom Nick had a one-night-stand nine months before the show at Bachelor in Paradise stars Jade and Tanner's wedding. Nick asked for her number after their rendezvous, and she said no - and then showed up on the Bachelor. Which has us all thinking:

All the ladies get a chance to "break up" with Nick in front of everyone at the museum, and it's truly hilarious. Kudos (or shame on you) to 24-year-old nurse Josephine for legitimately slapping him STRAIGHT on the face. We hope aftereffects added some extra sound in there, because it sounded painful. Nick was a good sport, and all seemed to be in good fun....until Liz came up. Party pooper. She basically told the story of their actual meeting at the wedding (remember, everyone else was telling fake stories) and then wished him well with the rest of his journey. Nick looked extremely uncomfortable - and then told the camera that he was extremely uncomfortable. Whereas Liz was looking for validation of their past, Nick came out of it realizing he needed to tell all the other women about their past because it was bound to get out anyways. He actually says "I'm living my nightmare" - and his face looks it.

Regardless, Nick confronts Liz later that night during their alone time as to why she is really here. Although she tearfully pleads her case, Nick is not impressed - and sends her home.

Oh! Another important moment was snuck into the group date, kind of offhandedly. In a huge moment for The Bachelor franchise - 28-year-old chef Jaimi tells Nick that she has dated a woman in the past. While we don't know much more about the specifics here (Is she bisexual or was it experimentation?) - it honestly doesn't matter. It's about time some more realistic women were on this show - that means ethnically, sexually, and circumstantially - and we applaud Jaimi for being honest and open, Nick for listening without making a huge deal out of it (although he did throw in the "Do I have competition here?" bit), and we guess the producers for slowly casting a wider Bachelor contestant pool.

We didn't find out who got the second group date rose, but Nick does tell the rest of the women about his and Liz's past. Annnnd cue the promos for next week:

  • The remaining ladies freak out about Nick and Liz's relationship, and what it means. Everyone seems to have forgotten that he sent her home, so it doesn't matter either way
  • There are a lot of ladies crying and questioning who Nick is as a person, and what he wants. We see 29-year-old teacher Vanessa asking him point blank: "Are you looking for a wife, or someone to f*ck around with?"

Boom.

This Week's Awards

  • Hot Mess of the Week: Liz. If she name-dropped Jade and Tanner one more time......we get it girl. You have friends in 'high' places.
  • Our Favorite Human of the Week: Nick. The way he dealt with Danielle's story about her fiance was nothing short of genuine; not an emotion we get to see a ton of on this show. We also really appreciate the way he dealt with Liz; succinct, fair but not putting up with any BS.
  • Who We Think Will Win: We haven't gotten to know enough of the women yet (nor has Nick, for that matter), but right now we like 25-year-old fashionista Raven. It seems like the contestants on these shows are always insistent of how amazing and perfect that Bachelor or Bachelorette is - but remember, a relationship is a two-way street. It's not enough that you be good for Nick, Nick has to be good for you! Raven was the only one we heard this from, and at the same time she managed to call him an as*hole in a way that didn't make it sound....bad. The gal's magic.
  • Women to Go: 22


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