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Bachelorette Week 3: Snakes in the Grass

Rattle rattle, folks. There are SNAKES IN THE GRASS. But they look like really hot men, in this instance.

Here's one thing I love about the Bachelorette/Bachelor franchise (I know, only one)? I went into this episode not knowing who really any of the contestants were except for Peter (a fan favorite), and Will (a friend of a friend and therefore someone I'm now rooting for).

But now I literally feel like I know one of the contestants better than I know some of my closest guy friends (sorry buds): Eric.

This whole episode was an emotional rollercoaster for the 29-year-old personal trainer who just wants Rachel to love him. Every season there is at least one person who is so incredibly caught up in their feelings, it's painful to watch. They're their own worse enemies (at first) - but then they make actual enemies in the house. In this case by the end of the night, it was Eric versus three other men in the house...when all he was really doing was having a crisis of conscience.

"Does Rachel like me?" That's undoubtedly the question every one of those men ask themselves several times a day, Eric is just the only one to do it over and over again, out loud, on camera. But I'm getting ahead of myself - let's do a quick recap of the non-Eric happenings of last night:

DeMario Returns
As teased in last week's episode, DeMario returns to the mansion to beg for Rachel's forgiveness after being outed as still having a girlfriend and coming on the show. He put his best foot forward, but Rachel was. not. having it. She was polite, she was forceful, she sent him packing - again.

Rose Ceremony
A lot of chaos ensues between Lucas (aka Waboom) and Blake. Lucas is undoubtedly a tool, but Blake isn't much better - he just eludes generally to "knowing Lucas" from before the show, and having dirt on him. Then just spill it already! In the weirdest moment of the entire night, Lucas tells Rachel he thinks Blake might be in love with him, because he caught Blake watching him sleep one night, while un-peeling and eating a banana. Kudos to Rachel for sitting through this story with a straight face, and then asking "did he finish the banana?" When Rachel asks Blake if this is true, Blake's response is "It couldn't be true, I don't eat carbs. I'm on a ketogenic diet." Which literally makes me wanna barf.

Rachel showed us, just moments ago with DeMario, that she does not deal with fools - so it's really no surprise that she sends both Blake AND Waboom home the next chance she gets. A very awkward couple minutes of the guys mimicking each other back and forth on their way out of the mansion just cement that as the right decision for probably everyone watching.

Group Date 1
Rachel takes a bunch of the guys on a taping of the Ellen show. Biggest things to come out of this date was 1) having all the men take their shirts off and dance in the audience, and 2) a cringeworthy moment where the guys reveal which of them have kissed Rachel and which haven't. I personally felt that Alex really stood out on this date as having incredible dancing skills, and Rachel agreed - he got the group date rose.

Frederick, the guy from Rachel's old summer camp, is so in love with her - but she can't see him as any other way than that little boy from her past. In a move that we thought was honestly a little cruel, she picks up the rose and brings it with her to send Fred home...making him think for just a bit that he was getting the rose. Poor Fred - my sister couldn't watch this part it was so sad.

One on One
Snore. Meh. It was with Anthony, they rode horses on Rodeo Drive. He wasn't bad, he just wasn't interesting. She thought differently though, and gave him a rose.

Group Date 2
A bunch of Rachel's friends - who just all happen to be ex-Bachelor contestants - set up a date for the men at a mud wrestling joint. I don't hate that they keep bringing back Corinne, because she's TV gold, but we've now had three episodes of the Bachelorette and Corinne (who is neither a Bachelorette or contestant), has been on two of them.

The men all wrestle in a mud pit for Rachel's affections. I was VERY impressed with Kenny 'Pretty Boy Pit Bull' - mama likey. Even though he has experience as a wrestler, Bryce took home the ultimate win.

Not if I get there first, @chaparrita.

Later that night, an emotional Eric tells Rachel he needs some validation from her and that he's feeling vulnerable. She gives it to him in the form of a rose, but then - upon hearing multiple stories from other people - goes back to tell him that her antenna are up.

Poor Eric had about six minutes of feeling safe and loved before being back on the defensive, and the episode ends with him literally screaming at the other men on the date "get my name out of your mouth!"

Men and feelings, am I right or am I right?