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These loaded homemade tots are all about the ABCs. That stands for Asiago, bacon and cheddar, of course. (Image: Courtesy Ted's Bulletin)
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OTT tater tots are the comfort food you need right now

No matter how old we get, we still have a soft spot for tater tots. As we mature though, our bar for what constitutes memorable tots gets higher. We want more than just a batch of the deep-fried potato plugs and a bottle of Heinz. Here are 11 spots where you can indulge with next-level tots.

Radiator

Executive chef Jonathan Dearden’s happy-hour-only disco tots recall a decadent baked potato. The hefty carb cubes come topped with fresh chives, bacon, sautéed shallots and Gorgonzola-laced béchamel.

Ted’s Bulletin

These loaded homemade tots are all about the ABCs. That stands for Asiago, bacon and cheddar, of course. For the full experience, dunk them in the Vidalia-bacon-ranch dressing on the side.

Hazel

You’ve never had steak tartare quite like this. The diced beef, enhanced with umami-rich koji sauce, arrives with caramelized onion dip, a cheery yellow dollop of pasteurized egg yolk and a pile of well-salted, disc-shaped tater tots. Smash and mash all the components together to enjoy a dish that tastes like steak ‘n’ eggs meets chips ‘n’ dip.

Roofers Union

Pig out on these unconventional tots. Though the croquettes are breaded with potato flakes, they’re stuffed with shredded pig trotters. There’s remoulade on the side for dipping.

Satellite Room

These ain’t your average tots. Get them dressed up with Buffalo wing sauce, poutine-style, dusted with Old Bay, loaded with buttered chives, bacon and sour cream, or dressed up like pizza with tomato sauce, mozzarella and pepperoni.

Sticky Rice

Whoever came up with the idea to pair sushi rolls and tater tots was a stoner genius. Looking to be utterly debauched? Go for nacho riffing tots smothered in chili, sriracha, cheese, bacon and sour cream. If you want to pretend you’re being healthy, opt for the Sweet Jesus, a bucket of sweet potato tots paired with honey mustard sauce.

Johnny’s Half Shell

If these tots were a movie, they’d be Porky’s Revenge. Trotters and shanks are slow braised and finely diced to forge the golden nuggets.

Spacebar

As if the grilled cheeses here weren’t decadent enough. Pair a hefty sando with customizable totchos, which are dressed with melted cheese – your choice of cheddar, mozzarella, Havarti, gouda, feta and others – and any add-ons you like, including crispy shallot chips, bacon, mojo pork, pastrami and an over-easy-egg. Dips include Russian dressing, chipotle mayonnaise and honey mustard. The possibilities may seem infinite, but for God’s sake pull yourself together and make a decision.

Quinn’s on the Corner

The creator of totchos should be honored with a statue. At the very least, you can pay homage to their work by savoring this fine rendition of the junk food mash-up, which features tots gleefully drowned in a tsunami of melted cheddar, beef chili, pico de gallo, sour cream, pickled jalapenos and scallions.

Pearl Street Warehouse

Miss Saigon? Then order these Viet-tots sporting hoisin, sriracha, cilantro, scallions and peanuts.

HalfSmoke

The Breakfast of Shaw Bloody Mary is ri-dic-u-lous. That’s because this crazy cocktail features a meal’s worth of garnishes. Tater tots, French fries, mac-n-cheese bites, corn dogs, sliders and chicken wings are all featured. Defibrillator not included.

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